


Invasion

by FeelingCreature



Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Gen, In-episode, Invasion of the Neptune Men, Kind of dark, Kinda, Mild panic, Possible Insanity, Starting to crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-09
Updated: 2014-12-09
Packaged: 2018-02-28 20:25:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2745839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeelingCreature/pseuds/FeelingCreature
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the movie finally gets too bad, Mike makes a rash decision, and Crow has to do something about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Invasion

**Author's Note:**

> This came about after watching Invasion of the Neptune Men, one of the few movies that actually almost broke the S.O.L. crew. Context: http://youtu.be/k4ezYwPAr1I?t=1h22m6s
> 
> So anyway, I wrote this thing. (Sorry the title totally sucks.)

Mike shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

       “Hey, you know what, you guys, I- I’m just gonna leave for a little while…” He started to get up from his chair.

       Crow turned in alarm. Even when Coleman Francis had him putting on Carol Channing wigs, Mike had never tried to leave the theater, and with good reason.

       “Mike,” he said sharply, “Mike, there’s no air out there.”

       Mike scooted past in front of Crow.

       “It’s alright…” he mumbled.

       Crow let him pass- it’s not like he could really stop him- but out of corner of his eye, he watched him disappear down the dark hallway leading out of the theater. What was Mike thinking? There was no oxygen in the rest of the Satellite. If he left the theater deck, he would suffocate in minutes. He knew that.

       No, he wasn’t really going to do it. He would just hang out in the hallway until he felt better and then come back. Yeah, that’s what he’d do. Mike was often hopelessly clueless, but he wasn’t crazy.

         Was he?

       Crow tapped his foot-like appendage nervously against the ground. He spouted a riff out of habit, but his heart wasn’t really in it- just continued a running gag they’d been using. Meanwhile, Servo hummed away in the other seat, clearly not thinking about Mike’s possible impending asphyxiation. Crow tried to think of another joke, but his mind kept filling with an image of Mike; blue in the face, pounding on the door, desperately trying to get back into the theater, all the while brain cells dying…

       Oh, he couldn’t just sit here!

       “I…I-I can’t…Tom, I’m gonna go muck out the septic system or something. I’ll be back at some point…” Crow lied quickly. Tom didn’t need to know about his rescue mission. He had a reputation to protect. Besides, the big baby would probably just start crying again, and that wouldn’t help anything.

       Crow exited the theater at a carefully measured, certified-casual pace. As soon as he was out of Servo’s line of sight, he darted down the hallway at top speed, and almost ploughed straight into Mike. He was just standing there, facing the door. He had his hand on the “Open” button like he was about to press it, but he held it there, apparently undecided. His face, dimly illuminated by the courtesy lights lining the floor, was unreadable.

       Crow reached out and poked him in the arm.

       “Mike?”

       Mike started slightly and turned to look down at Crow. His expression changed to confusion.

       “What are you doing out here, Crow?” he said.

       “What am I doing- What are _you_ doing out here, you big, stupid-” No, that wouldn’t help. Crow took a deep breath (or what passed for a deep breath for a robot) and reined in his irritation.

       “You’re not really gonna go out into the ship, are you?” he asked.

       Mike looked at Crow, then past him, like he didn’t see him anymore. Then he went back to staring at the door, hand still on the button. Crow’s worry-meter jumped up a few notches. Why was Mike acting like this? What was wrong with him?

       “You can’t really be considering this.” Crow said.

       Mike didn’t answer. They stood there for a moment, listening to the awful voice acting and ugly crashing sounds still audible from all the way down the hall. The worry-meter was setting off panic alarm bells now. Crow pulled on Mike’s sleeve.

       “Mike,” he said impatiently. “You can’t go out there! Do you wanna die?”

       Mike's brow furrowed. He looked over at Crow, and for a moment a frightening desperation was visible in his eyes.

       Crow stopped pulling and stared at him.

     ”…Do you?” he almost whispered.

       Mike shook his head loosely, the way he did when he woke up too fast, like he was trying to shake the daze out of his brain. He looked at Crow, then back at the door, then back at Crow again. The wild look had drained away, leaving pain and confusion in its place. He put his other hand on his forehead.

       “I…what?”

       Crow snapped immediately back into action. He pushed Mike’s arm away from the wall and yanked him around to face the theater.

       “You’re coming back.” Crow said. He pulled on Mike’s arm, but Mike held his ground. He looked past Crow towards the flickering theater light at the other end of the hall. They could still hear the obnoxious spacey sound effects and Tom riffing by himself.

       Mike shook his head again. “I don’t know…this movie…I don’t think I can- “

       “It can’t be much longer. There’s something resembling a climax happening.” Crow encouraged.

       “I…I don’t-”

       “You’re not going to die.” Crow stated forcefully- though whether he was assuring Mike that the movie wouldn’t kill him, or refusing to let him suffocate out in the ship, he wasn’t sure. He grabbed Mike’s arm and started dragging him back towards the theater. He didn’t resist this time, so Crow figured his pep talk must have done the trick.

       When they got close to the row of seats, he pushed Mike in front of him and let him enter first. He still seemed a little shaky, but he sat down and mumbled something to Servo about coming back because Mrs. Forrester hadn't left any air on the rest of the Satellite. Crow was grateful for the excuse. He wouldn’t want Tom to suspect…what? That he cared about Mike? That he actually had feelings? Whatever. Anyway, Tom didn’t need to know about it. Crow backed up Mike’s statement, just to be safe, and turned his attention back to the screen.

       Ugh, it did have to be almost over, didn’t it? He glanced over at Mike, who had resumed riffing as usual. He seemed alright now, but that was way too close for any kind of comfort. He’d have to keep an eye on Mike from now on. He’d lost one human before, and he didn’t- No, he didn’t want to think about that, any of it. He forced his thoughts back to the movie.


End file.
